End

Odessa

What had I done? Had I really just kissed him? What had I been thinking? I was engaged, and about to get married! Was I turning into some kind of tramp? How could I have done that?
This was awful: how could I? I was beside myself with anger and guilt.
But that song had been so beautiful, so enchanting, and so…alive. It had felt like the song had been breathing, and moving. It felt as if the song had made me kiss him, as if I wasn’t responsible for my actions.
I ran into the mansion, and right into Williams arms. I hadn’t been expecting him to be waiting by the door, but he had been, and now he was holding me by the wrists giving me a threatening look.
“Where have you been?” He asked, staring into my eyes with blinding intensity.
“I, I-” I was stumbling carelessly over my words. “I was in town” I finally managed to say.
“What were you doing?” He asked
“I was looking at ribbons” I lied.
“I don’t think so” William said with bared teeth, “You weren’t off seeing violin players?”
I gasped: how could he have known?
“One of my good friends saw you two, and hastened to tell me what he saw. Odessa I cannot be with you if you refuse to act like a lady, and if you’re going to be a common whore then so be it, but don’t’ get me involved with you” He was practically yelling now. “How could you act like that in public? You’re ruining my reputation”
“Well I’m sorry that your reputation is more important than I am” I said un-characteristically.
He slapped me.
I reached up and touched my cheek: it stung badly, but I straightened up. “And I’m also sorry that I couldn’t have been more like a proper lady” I balled my hands into fists. “I’m also sorry that because you were so obsessed with having a good reputation, you forgot to love your fiancé”
He slapped me again, but I didn’t’ back down.
“But most of all, I’m sorry that I ever agreed to marry you: you are a sick, evil, vile man, and I don’t care what my family says: you are a monster, so I guess you’re going to have to find some other woman to drag around like your puppet, because I’m done with this. I’m through with pretending I care about you!”
He slapped me for a third time, but I could tell that the words had shaken him. “Don’t’ you dare say those things” He hissed. “You are nothing to me”
“Good then: you won’t care if I just leave” I paused then grinned, “Oh, that’s right: this is my house. Good bye William, but I’m afraid that you’ve stayed far too long”
William glared at me. “You are going to be very sorry” he threatened. “You’re ruining your life by running around with commoners, but see if I care: ruin your life, that’s fine with me” And with that he stormed out of the house.
I sat down in a chair by the front entrance hall, and buried my face in my hands: what had I done? What had I been thinking? I hadn’t been thinking: that was the problem.

Charles

I had never felt so happy in my whole life: I wanted to dance and sing, and tell everyone about what had happened. I needed to see Odessa again, because when I was with her I felt so happy, so joyful, and I wanted that feeling to last.
I was going to ask her to marry me. I knew it was sudden, but she made my heart feel so light. I just had to see her again.
“So, I’m going to propose to Odessa” I said absentmindedly to Mr. Benson.
“No you’re not” He immediately responded.
“Why not?”
“Because, it’s either marriage, or your violin concert. You either are a musician or a husband. Which is it going to be?”
“What?” I asked, outraged. “Why can’t I be both?”
“Mr. Charles: I’ve been a theater manager for twenty five years. I’ve watched musicians come and go: some of them have talent, and some of them don’t. The point is: the one’s that have talent have to make a decision to either dedicate their life to music or do something else, because you can’t do both. I’ve watched many musicians struggle to have a family and have music, but eventually one of them just gives out. I’ve seen more good musicians gone to waist because of family problems, then from medical issues. But like I said: I’ve seen a lot of musicians come and go: some had talent, and some didn’t and let me tell you kid: you’ve got talent, so don’t’ screw this up because of some girl. You’ve got something going to for you that I’ve never seen before.”
I was left a little staggered by his speech. “I’ve…I’ve got to go” I got up and hurriedly left. How could I choose between Odessa and music? I loved Odessa…or at least, I think I did, but I had been working to be a musician for so long, and to give it up for a girl I wasn’t even sure would like me…
I stopped in the street suddenly and bent down on one knee. “Odessa…will you marry me?” I asked to no one. I shook my head. “Who am I kidding?” I asked furiously. I stopped up. “Why would Odessa marry me?” I looked at the ring again, feeling furry burning through me. “Who am I kidding?” I said again. I shook my head and tossed the ring to the ground. How could I give up music when I had worked so hard to be a musician? This is what I wanted, and to give it up for some girl would be ridiculous…

Odessa

I saw him toss the ring to the ground. I heard him ask me to marry him. I knew what was going on, but somehow my brain wasn’t’ registering it. I was in numb confusion.
“Music is more important than her” He whispered, but the hiss went right through me. To me, it was like he had screamed the words. I felt dizzy, and cold.
“What?” I whispered, “What?” I asked louder.
He turned, and suddenly looked petrified. “Odessa” He whispered.
My eyes were wide in shock and anger. “No wonder you lost everything” I yelled, thinking back to what he had told me about his past. “Music didn’t make you loose those things: you lost those things yourself” I turned to run, but something stopped me. “Why?” I asked in a small, pleading voice.
He looked lost for words. “Odessa”
“Don’t come looking for me Charles” I said, and ran off.

Charles

Stood on the concert stage, and took a deep breath. The audience was looking expectantly at me, and I was sweating buckets. This was crazy. I raised my violin and began to play, letting the music flow from the strings like water.

It was easier than I thought it was going to be: I got through four songs before I got to Odessa’s song. As I set the bow to the strings I began to feel empty, as if I had done so much wrong that I couldn’t recover from it. I had to stop playing, because just then I realized my mistake. I couldn’t choose music over Odessa: I loved her too much.
I put my violin down. “Excuse me, but I have somewhere else I have to be” I walked triumphantly off the stage.
“What are you doing boy?” Mr. Benson asked.
I just smiled at him. “I’m doing what I should have done to begin with”
“How do you know a life without music will be any better than a life without it?”
“Because it has to be” I said simply, and without turning around I left.
The tricky part was going to be finding Odessa, but I was almost positive where I would find her: I had taken her home once, and I was pretty sure I remembered where to go.

As I turned up the path to her house, I saw her sitting in the front yard.
“Odessa!” I called.
She looked up when I approached, but looked angry when she saw me. “Shouldn’t’ you be at your violin concert?”
“Yes” I replied nonchalantly. “But I had to come and tell you something”
“What is it?” Odessa snarled.
“I came here to tell you that…I made a mistake” I paused and looked up at her. “And I don’t’ expect you to forgive me, but I couldn’t live with myself knowing that I never tried…”
“Tried what?” She asked, a little less angry than before.
“Tried to make you understand…” I paused again. “That…I love you”
She looked at me, her eyes suddenly forgiving.
“And the only reason I chose music was because I was denying it o myself” I paused once more, just to see how she was taking the news. “But I love you Odessa. I am totally, crazy in love with you, and I needed to tell you that” I smiled slightly, having finally told her. “So…I guess I’ll be going now” I turned away, but she stopped me.
“Charles…wait”
I turned towards her, and was surprised to see her smiling.
“I love you too” She whispered, before closing the distance between us.
The words echoed inside my head, and I kept repeating them to myself over and over again until they were tattooed there.
“I love you”