Sunday, June 3, 2007
Friday, June 1, 2007
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Thursday, March 15, 2007
End
Odessa
What had I done? Had I really just kissed him? What had I been thinking? I was engaged, and about to get married! Was I turning into some kind of tramp? How could I have done that?
This was awful: how could I? I was beside myself with anger and guilt.
But that song had been so beautiful, so enchanting, and so…alive. It had felt like the song had been breathing, and moving. It felt as if the song had made me kiss him, as if I wasn’t responsible for my actions.
I ran into the mansion, and right into Williams arms. I hadn’t been expecting him to be waiting by the door, but he had been, and now he was holding me by the wrists giving me a threatening look.
“Where have you been?” He asked, staring into my eyes with blinding intensity.
“I, I-” I was stumbling carelessly over my words. “I was in town” I finally managed to say.
“What were you doing?” He asked
“I was looking at ribbons” I lied.
“I don’t think so” William said with bared teeth, “You weren’t off seeing violin players?”
I gasped: how could he have known?
“One of my good friends saw you two, and hastened to tell me what he saw. Odessa I cannot be with you if you refuse to act like a lady, and if you’re going to be a common whore then so be it, but don’t’ get me involved with you” He was practically yelling now. “How could you act like that in public? You’re ruining my reputation”
“Well I’m sorry that your reputation is more important than I am” I said un-characteristically.
He slapped me.
I reached up and touched my cheek: it stung badly, but I straightened up. “And I’m also sorry that I couldn’t have been more like a proper lady” I balled my hands into fists. “I’m also sorry that because you were so obsessed with having a good reputation, you forgot to love your fiancé”
He slapped me again, but I didn’t’ back down.
“But most of all, I’m sorry that I ever agreed to marry you: you are a sick, evil, vile man, and I don’t care what my family says: you are a monster, so I guess you’re going to have to find some other woman to drag around like your puppet, because I’m done with this. I’m through with pretending I care about you!”
He slapped me for a third time, but I could tell that the words had shaken him. “Don’t’ you dare say those things” He hissed. “You are nothing to me”
“Good then: you won’t care if I just leave” I paused then grinned, “Oh, that’s right: this is my house. Good bye William, but I’m afraid that you’ve stayed far too long”
William glared at me. “You are going to be very sorry” he threatened. “You’re ruining your life by running around with commoners, but see if I care: ruin your life, that’s fine with me” And with that he stormed out of the house.
I sat down in a chair by the front entrance hall, and buried my face in my hands: what had I done? What had I been thinking? I hadn’t been thinking: that was the problem.
Charles
I had never felt so happy in my whole life: I wanted to dance and sing, and tell everyone about what had happened. I needed to see Odessa again, because when I was with her I felt so happy, so joyful, and I wanted that feeling to last.
I was going to ask her to marry me. I knew it was sudden, but she made my heart feel so light. I just had to see her again.
“So, I’m going to propose to Odessa” I said absentmindedly to Mr. Benson.
“No you’re not” He immediately responded.
“Why not?”
“Because, it’s either marriage, or your violin concert. You either are a musician or a husband. Which is it going to be?”
“What?” I asked, outraged. “Why can’t I be both?”
“Mr. Charles: I’ve been a theater manager for twenty five years. I’ve watched musicians come and go: some of them have talent, and some of them don’t. The point is: the one’s that have talent have to make a decision to either dedicate their life to music or do something else, because you can’t do both. I’ve watched many musicians struggle to have a family and have music, but eventually one of them just gives out. I’ve seen more good musicians gone to waist because of family problems, then from medical issues. But like I said: I’ve seen a lot of musicians come and go: some had talent, and some didn’t and let me tell you kid: you’ve got talent, so don’t’ screw this up because of some girl. You’ve got something going to for you that I’ve never seen before.”
I was left a little staggered by his speech. “I’ve…I’ve got to go” I got up and hurriedly left. How could I choose between Odessa and music? I loved Odessa…or at least, I think I did, but I had been working to be a musician for so long, and to give it up for a girl I wasn’t even sure would like me…
I stopped in the street suddenly and bent down on one knee. “Odessa…will you marry me?” I asked to no one. I shook my head. “Who am I kidding?” I asked furiously. I stopped up. “Why would Odessa marry me?” I looked at the ring again, feeling furry burning through me. “Who am I kidding?” I said again. I shook my head and tossed the ring to the ground. How could I give up music when I had worked so hard to be a musician? This is what I wanted, and to give it up for some girl would be ridiculous…
Odessa
I saw him toss the ring to the ground. I heard him ask me to marry him. I knew what was going on, but somehow my brain wasn’t’ registering it. I was in numb confusion.
“Music is more important than her” He whispered, but the hiss went right through me. To me, it was like he had screamed the words. I felt dizzy, and cold.
“What?” I whispered, “What?” I asked louder.
He turned, and suddenly looked petrified. “Odessa” He whispered.
My eyes were wide in shock and anger. “No wonder you lost everything” I yelled, thinking back to what he had told me about his past. “Music didn’t make you loose those things: you lost those things yourself” I turned to run, but something stopped me. “Why?” I asked in a small, pleading voice.
He looked lost for words. “Odessa”
“Don’t come looking for me Charles” I said, and ran off.
Charles
Stood on the concert stage, and took a deep breath. The audience was looking expectantly at me, and I was sweating buckets. This was crazy. I raised my violin and began to play, letting the music flow from the strings like water.
It was easier than I thought it was going to be: I got through four songs before I got to Odessa’s song. As I set the bow to the strings I began to feel empty, as if I had done so much wrong that I couldn’t recover from it. I had to stop playing, because just then I realized my mistake. I couldn’t choose music over Odessa: I loved her too much.
I put my violin down. “Excuse me, but I have somewhere else I have to be” I walked triumphantly off the stage.
“What are you doing boy?” Mr. Benson asked.
I just smiled at him. “I’m doing what I should have done to begin with”
“How do you know a life without music will be any better than a life without it?”
“Because it has to be” I said simply, and without turning around I left.
The tricky part was going to be finding Odessa, but I was almost positive where I would find her: I had taken her home once, and I was pretty sure I remembered where to go.
As I turned up the path to her house, I saw her sitting in the front yard.
“Odessa!” I called.
She looked up when I approached, but looked angry when she saw me. “Shouldn’t’ you be at your violin concert?”
“Yes” I replied nonchalantly. “But I had to come and tell you something”
“What is it?” Odessa snarled.
“I came here to tell you that…I made a mistake” I paused and looked up at her. “And I don’t’ expect you to forgive me, but I couldn’t live with myself knowing that I never tried…”
“Tried what?” She asked, a little less angry than before.
“Tried to make you understand…” I paused again. “That…I love you”
She looked at me, her eyes suddenly forgiving.
“And the only reason I chose music was because I was denying it o myself” I paused once more, just to see how she was taking the news. “But I love you Odessa. I am totally, crazy in love with you, and I needed to tell you that” I smiled slightly, having finally told her. “So…I guess I’ll be going now” I turned away, but she stopped me.
“Charles…wait”
I turned towards her, and was surprised to see her smiling.
“I love you too” She whispered, before closing the distance between us.
The words echoed inside my head, and I kept repeating them to myself over and over again until they were tattooed there.
“I love you”
What had I done? Had I really just kissed him? What had I been thinking? I was engaged, and about to get married! Was I turning into some kind of tramp? How could I have done that?
This was awful: how could I? I was beside myself with anger and guilt.
But that song had been so beautiful, so enchanting, and so…alive. It had felt like the song had been breathing, and moving. It felt as if the song had made me kiss him, as if I wasn’t responsible for my actions.
I ran into the mansion, and right into Williams arms. I hadn’t been expecting him to be waiting by the door, but he had been, and now he was holding me by the wrists giving me a threatening look.
“Where have you been?” He asked, staring into my eyes with blinding intensity.
“I, I-” I was stumbling carelessly over my words. “I was in town” I finally managed to say.
“What were you doing?” He asked
“I was looking at ribbons” I lied.
“I don’t think so” William said with bared teeth, “You weren’t off seeing violin players?”
I gasped: how could he have known?
“One of my good friends saw you two, and hastened to tell me what he saw. Odessa I cannot be with you if you refuse to act like a lady, and if you’re going to be a common whore then so be it, but don’t’ get me involved with you” He was practically yelling now. “How could you act like that in public? You’re ruining my reputation”
“Well I’m sorry that your reputation is more important than I am” I said un-characteristically.
He slapped me.
I reached up and touched my cheek: it stung badly, but I straightened up. “And I’m also sorry that I couldn’t have been more like a proper lady” I balled my hands into fists. “I’m also sorry that because you were so obsessed with having a good reputation, you forgot to love your fiancé”
He slapped me again, but I didn’t’ back down.
“But most of all, I’m sorry that I ever agreed to marry you: you are a sick, evil, vile man, and I don’t care what my family says: you are a monster, so I guess you’re going to have to find some other woman to drag around like your puppet, because I’m done with this. I’m through with pretending I care about you!”
He slapped me for a third time, but I could tell that the words had shaken him. “Don’t’ you dare say those things” He hissed. “You are nothing to me”
“Good then: you won’t care if I just leave” I paused then grinned, “Oh, that’s right: this is my house. Good bye William, but I’m afraid that you’ve stayed far too long”
William glared at me. “You are going to be very sorry” he threatened. “You’re ruining your life by running around with commoners, but see if I care: ruin your life, that’s fine with me” And with that he stormed out of the house.
I sat down in a chair by the front entrance hall, and buried my face in my hands: what had I done? What had I been thinking? I hadn’t been thinking: that was the problem.
Charles
I had never felt so happy in my whole life: I wanted to dance and sing, and tell everyone about what had happened. I needed to see Odessa again, because when I was with her I felt so happy, so joyful, and I wanted that feeling to last.
I was going to ask her to marry me. I knew it was sudden, but she made my heart feel so light. I just had to see her again.
“So, I’m going to propose to Odessa” I said absentmindedly to Mr. Benson.
“No you’re not” He immediately responded.
“Why not?”
“Because, it’s either marriage, or your violin concert. You either are a musician or a husband. Which is it going to be?”
“What?” I asked, outraged. “Why can’t I be both?”
“Mr. Charles: I’ve been a theater manager for twenty five years. I’ve watched musicians come and go: some of them have talent, and some of them don’t. The point is: the one’s that have talent have to make a decision to either dedicate their life to music or do something else, because you can’t do both. I’ve watched many musicians struggle to have a family and have music, but eventually one of them just gives out. I’ve seen more good musicians gone to waist because of family problems, then from medical issues. But like I said: I’ve seen a lot of musicians come and go: some had talent, and some didn’t and let me tell you kid: you’ve got talent, so don’t’ screw this up because of some girl. You’ve got something going to for you that I’ve never seen before.”
I was left a little staggered by his speech. “I’ve…I’ve got to go” I got up and hurriedly left. How could I choose between Odessa and music? I loved Odessa…or at least, I think I did, but I had been working to be a musician for so long, and to give it up for a girl I wasn’t even sure would like me…
I stopped in the street suddenly and bent down on one knee. “Odessa…will you marry me?” I asked to no one. I shook my head. “Who am I kidding?” I asked furiously. I stopped up. “Why would Odessa marry me?” I looked at the ring again, feeling furry burning through me. “Who am I kidding?” I said again. I shook my head and tossed the ring to the ground. How could I give up music when I had worked so hard to be a musician? This is what I wanted, and to give it up for some girl would be ridiculous…
Odessa
I saw him toss the ring to the ground. I heard him ask me to marry him. I knew what was going on, but somehow my brain wasn’t’ registering it. I was in numb confusion.
“Music is more important than her” He whispered, but the hiss went right through me. To me, it was like he had screamed the words. I felt dizzy, and cold.
“What?” I whispered, “What?” I asked louder.
He turned, and suddenly looked petrified. “Odessa” He whispered.
My eyes were wide in shock and anger. “No wonder you lost everything” I yelled, thinking back to what he had told me about his past. “Music didn’t make you loose those things: you lost those things yourself” I turned to run, but something stopped me. “Why?” I asked in a small, pleading voice.
He looked lost for words. “Odessa”
“Don’t come looking for me Charles” I said, and ran off.
Charles
Stood on the concert stage, and took a deep breath. The audience was looking expectantly at me, and I was sweating buckets. This was crazy. I raised my violin and began to play, letting the music flow from the strings like water.
It was easier than I thought it was going to be: I got through four songs before I got to Odessa’s song. As I set the bow to the strings I began to feel empty, as if I had done so much wrong that I couldn’t recover from it. I had to stop playing, because just then I realized my mistake. I couldn’t choose music over Odessa: I loved her too much.
I put my violin down. “Excuse me, but I have somewhere else I have to be” I walked triumphantly off the stage.
“What are you doing boy?” Mr. Benson asked.
I just smiled at him. “I’m doing what I should have done to begin with”
“How do you know a life without music will be any better than a life without it?”
“Because it has to be” I said simply, and without turning around I left.
The tricky part was going to be finding Odessa, but I was almost positive where I would find her: I had taken her home once, and I was pretty sure I remembered where to go.
As I turned up the path to her house, I saw her sitting in the front yard.
“Odessa!” I called.
She looked up when I approached, but looked angry when she saw me. “Shouldn’t’ you be at your violin concert?”
“Yes” I replied nonchalantly. “But I had to come and tell you something”
“What is it?” Odessa snarled.
“I came here to tell you that…I made a mistake” I paused and looked up at her. “And I don’t’ expect you to forgive me, but I couldn’t live with myself knowing that I never tried…”
“Tried what?” She asked, a little less angry than before.
“Tried to make you understand…” I paused again. “That…I love you”
She looked at me, her eyes suddenly forgiving.
“And the only reason I chose music was because I was denying it o myself” I paused once more, just to see how she was taking the news. “But I love you Odessa. I am totally, crazy in love with you, and I needed to tell you that” I smiled slightly, having finally told her. “So…I guess I’ll be going now” I turned away, but she stopped me.
“Charles…wait”
I turned towards her, and was surprised to see her smiling.
“I love you too” She whispered, before closing the distance between us.
The words echoed inside my head, and I kept repeating them to myself over and over again until they were tattooed there.
“I love you”
Monday, March 5, 2007
Rising action
Charles
After I met Odessa, life took a turn for the better: the colors were brighter, and the air was cleaner. Everything seemed to pass in a happy blur. Odessa did indeed pay my rent, and I got another show scheduled. Mr. Benson had managed to promote the concert so well that all the seats were sold out. I secretly hoped that Odessa and her brother were coming so I could see her again. We hadn’t actually met face to face since ‘the incident’, but the memory of her face was enough to keep me hopeful.
“Are you listening?” A hand waved across my vision.
I blinked hurriedly, and broke out of my reverie. “Huh?” I asked, looking up at Mr. Benson.
He sighed. “Charles, I was just telling you about the up-coming concert”
“Oh” I looked around. I was standing on the concert stage, and holding my violin by my side. I shook my head, trying to clear the vision of Odessa from my mind. Whenever I thought about her I seemed to go into some kind of trance, and I would only wake up from it once someone shook me awake.
“Now please Charles, listen. We’ve been through this before, but I just want to make sure you remember: the duke is going to be in the audience, so please have stage presence”
“I do have stage presence!” I argued.
“Right,” Mr. Benson said critically. “Just don’t jump off the stage, or throw your violin at the audience”
“Do I ever do that?” I asked.
“Well, if you were thinking about it: Don’t…alright, that’s all I wanted to say: you can keep practicing”
I nodded, and turned back to the empty seats, trying to imagine a full house. I began to float my bow over the strings, soft notes playing sweetly in my ear. As the song began to take place in my mind, I felt like I could see the notes floating softly across the stage, like a strange river flowing under my feet, looping playfully through the shadows, and dancing gracefully over the red velvet seats. Suddenly a face appeared in the seats: she was beautiful, with ivory skin, that looked softer than silk. She had long wheat blond curls, and soft honey-gold eyes.
Suddenly the music fell flat, and I was once again, woken rudely from my daydreams.
“What was that?” Mr. Benson yelled, coming back out onto stage. “Are you trying to make me deaf?”
“I’m sorry” I whispered, and turned away. I started playing again, letting the music flow freely once again, but visions of Odessa kept creeping into my mind. I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. “You can do this” I whispered softly to myself.
I tried again, but once again the music wouldn’t flow smoothly. The notes weren’t soft, and sweet, but suddenly bitter, and sharp.
I tried once more, but still: nothing.
I tried over and over and over again, but still the same result.
“Is this how you’re planning to play for the duke?” Mr. Benson asked in his usual pompous manner.
“I’m sorry” I mumbled.
“You know what, just go home, get some rest, and stop messing up”
“Thank you” I sighed, and started to pack up my violin. It was no use to try and play when visions of Odessa kept floating across my imagination. It was probably better if I just went home, and took care of some things.
Odessa
William had punished me when I came home. It was the worst night I had ever had in the mansion. I had managed to convince Charles to leave me before we got to the house, but I had a horrible feeling that somehow William would figure out that another man had been with me.
I was miserable while I stayed at the mansion, and the only thing that could keep me happy was remembering how I had felt when Charles had been close by. Even that brief moment I had been talking to Charles I had been so joyful…
So that was why I was waiting by the theater: I had to find Charles again, just to see if that happy feeling would return. May be the feeling had been a post-trauma reaction, but I couldn’t be sure until I saw him again.
I wasn’t even sure if I would find Charles here, but it was the only place I could think of. Charles had been very secretive of where he lived: even when I had given him money to pay off his rent, he hadn’t allowed us to meet face to face, instead he had very forcefully instructed me to leave the money in the care of Mr. Benson: the theater manager.
Suddenly the theater doors were thrown open, and a man walked out.
I recognized Charles at once, but there was a moment of confusion, where I wasn’t quite sure if I was really seeing him.
“Odessa?” Charles asked surprised.
I blushed, “I’m sorry I just wanted to…” I paused, trying to regain a proper manner, “I just wanted to see you again”
He nodded, “I was actually hoping I would get to see you”
“Oh…you were?” I asked. The joyful, weightless feeling had returned, and I felt almost certain that if I wasn’t careful, I would float right off the ground.
“yes, I was”
“So…how is your music going?” I asked, casting my mind around, trying to find a topic of conversation.
“It’s going great actually, Mr. Benson has got me another concert, and it’s all sold out…and I wrote another piece of music” He looked embarrassed.
“Can I hear it?” I asked eagerly.
“Very well” He paused, “But may be somewhere more private” He suggested.
I knew that I would get a beating if William knew I was with him, but I didn’t care about any of that, all that mattered was being with him, and hearing his sweet music.
And so I went with him.
Charles led me to a small house close to the theater. It was tiny, barley three rooms, and hardly enough room to stand up straight.
He told me to sit down on the couch, and I did as I was told.
He took out his violin case and opened it carefully, pulling from it his violin and bow. He rested his chin on the violin, and raised the bow to the strings…
Suddenly the sweetest music filled the room. There are no words to describe how beautiful the song was. It’s sad, sweet melody entranced me. I held my breath, for fear that I would breath too loudly, and ruin the music.
Charles
For the first time that day I was actually able to play well.
I let the silver notes dance across the walls, and swim through the shadows. The rest of the world didn’t seem to matter, only the music was real.
I let the song finish up, and looked up at Odessa. “Did you like it?”
She looked shocked, lost for words almost. “I-I…” She shook her head. “It was beautiful”
“I wrote that song for you” I whispered.
“You…you…” She stood up, walking over to me as if in a trance. “Wrote that for…” She reached me, and stretched her soft fingers out to touch my cheek, but stopped about an inch from my face. “Me?” She seemed incredulous.
I just nodded.
Her fingers trembled, and her eyes searched mine, as if trying to find some trace of falsehood.
“I wrote it because I thought I would never see you again, and I wanted something to remind me of you, and I knew that if I played that song you’d be there, and-” I stopped talking, in face I think I stopped breathing altogether, because at that moment Odessa’s rosy lips were rested lightly on mine.
She drew back, and looked shocked. “I’m sorry” She looked horrified. “I’m so sorry…I have to go”
“Wait, will I see you again?” I called after her.
She shook her head. “No”
After I met Odessa, life took a turn for the better: the colors were brighter, and the air was cleaner. Everything seemed to pass in a happy blur. Odessa did indeed pay my rent, and I got another show scheduled. Mr. Benson had managed to promote the concert so well that all the seats were sold out. I secretly hoped that Odessa and her brother were coming so I could see her again. We hadn’t actually met face to face since ‘the incident’, but the memory of her face was enough to keep me hopeful.
“Are you listening?” A hand waved across my vision.
I blinked hurriedly, and broke out of my reverie. “Huh?” I asked, looking up at Mr. Benson.
He sighed. “Charles, I was just telling you about the up-coming concert”
“Oh” I looked around. I was standing on the concert stage, and holding my violin by my side. I shook my head, trying to clear the vision of Odessa from my mind. Whenever I thought about her I seemed to go into some kind of trance, and I would only wake up from it once someone shook me awake.
“Now please Charles, listen. We’ve been through this before, but I just want to make sure you remember: the duke is going to be in the audience, so please have stage presence”
“I do have stage presence!” I argued.
“Right,” Mr. Benson said critically. “Just don’t jump off the stage, or throw your violin at the audience”
“Do I ever do that?” I asked.
“Well, if you were thinking about it: Don’t…alright, that’s all I wanted to say: you can keep practicing”
I nodded, and turned back to the empty seats, trying to imagine a full house. I began to float my bow over the strings, soft notes playing sweetly in my ear. As the song began to take place in my mind, I felt like I could see the notes floating softly across the stage, like a strange river flowing under my feet, looping playfully through the shadows, and dancing gracefully over the red velvet seats. Suddenly a face appeared in the seats: she was beautiful, with ivory skin, that looked softer than silk. She had long wheat blond curls, and soft honey-gold eyes.
Suddenly the music fell flat, and I was once again, woken rudely from my daydreams.
“What was that?” Mr. Benson yelled, coming back out onto stage. “Are you trying to make me deaf?”
“I’m sorry” I whispered, and turned away. I started playing again, letting the music flow freely once again, but visions of Odessa kept creeping into my mind. I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. “You can do this” I whispered softly to myself.
I tried again, but once again the music wouldn’t flow smoothly. The notes weren’t soft, and sweet, but suddenly bitter, and sharp.
I tried once more, but still: nothing.
I tried over and over and over again, but still the same result.
“Is this how you’re planning to play for the duke?” Mr. Benson asked in his usual pompous manner.
“I’m sorry” I mumbled.
“You know what, just go home, get some rest, and stop messing up”
“Thank you” I sighed, and started to pack up my violin. It was no use to try and play when visions of Odessa kept floating across my imagination. It was probably better if I just went home, and took care of some things.
Odessa
William had punished me when I came home. It was the worst night I had ever had in the mansion. I had managed to convince Charles to leave me before we got to the house, but I had a horrible feeling that somehow William would figure out that another man had been with me.
I was miserable while I stayed at the mansion, and the only thing that could keep me happy was remembering how I had felt when Charles had been close by. Even that brief moment I had been talking to Charles I had been so joyful…
So that was why I was waiting by the theater: I had to find Charles again, just to see if that happy feeling would return. May be the feeling had been a post-trauma reaction, but I couldn’t be sure until I saw him again.
I wasn’t even sure if I would find Charles here, but it was the only place I could think of. Charles had been very secretive of where he lived: even when I had given him money to pay off his rent, he hadn’t allowed us to meet face to face, instead he had very forcefully instructed me to leave the money in the care of Mr. Benson: the theater manager.
Suddenly the theater doors were thrown open, and a man walked out.
I recognized Charles at once, but there was a moment of confusion, where I wasn’t quite sure if I was really seeing him.
“Odessa?” Charles asked surprised.
I blushed, “I’m sorry I just wanted to…” I paused, trying to regain a proper manner, “I just wanted to see you again”
He nodded, “I was actually hoping I would get to see you”
“Oh…you were?” I asked. The joyful, weightless feeling had returned, and I felt almost certain that if I wasn’t careful, I would float right off the ground.
“yes, I was”
“So…how is your music going?” I asked, casting my mind around, trying to find a topic of conversation.
“It’s going great actually, Mr. Benson has got me another concert, and it’s all sold out…and I wrote another piece of music” He looked embarrassed.
“Can I hear it?” I asked eagerly.
“Very well” He paused, “But may be somewhere more private” He suggested.
I knew that I would get a beating if William knew I was with him, but I didn’t care about any of that, all that mattered was being with him, and hearing his sweet music.
And so I went with him.
Charles led me to a small house close to the theater. It was tiny, barley three rooms, and hardly enough room to stand up straight.
He told me to sit down on the couch, and I did as I was told.
He took out his violin case and opened it carefully, pulling from it his violin and bow. He rested his chin on the violin, and raised the bow to the strings…
Suddenly the sweetest music filled the room. There are no words to describe how beautiful the song was. It’s sad, sweet melody entranced me. I held my breath, for fear that I would breath too loudly, and ruin the music.
Charles
For the first time that day I was actually able to play well.
I let the silver notes dance across the walls, and swim through the shadows. The rest of the world didn’t seem to matter, only the music was real.
I let the song finish up, and looked up at Odessa. “Did you like it?”
She looked shocked, lost for words almost. “I-I…” She shook her head. “It was beautiful”
“I wrote that song for you” I whispered.
“You…you…” She stood up, walking over to me as if in a trance. “Wrote that for…” She reached me, and stretched her soft fingers out to touch my cheek, but stopped about an inch from my face. “Me?” She seemed incredulous.
I just nodded.
Her fingers trembled, and her eyes searched mine, as if trying to find some trace of falsehood.
“I wrote it because I thought I would never see you again, and I wanted something to remind me of you, and I knew that if I played that song you’d be there, and-” I stopped talking, in face I think I stopped breathing altogether, because at that moment Odessa’s rosy lips were rested lightly on mine.
She drew back, and looked shocked. “I’m sorry” She looked horrified. “I’m so sorry…I have to go”
“Wait, will I see you again?” I called after her.
She shook her head. “No”
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Story continued
Odessa:
It was him. I was sure it was him, it had to be him. I recognized his strong jaw, and silver strewn hair. However his face wasn’t’ screwed up in concentration, and had rounded out into a look of concern.
“Thank you” I breathed again. It had been a shock when the man had held a knife to my throat, but seeing the violinist’s face again had been an even bigger shock.
“Please” He held up a hand to silence me. “Don’t thank me, any man would have done the same thing, were he in my position”
I smiled at him. “Well, I should be going: William will expect me” I felt guilty that I was leaving after he had just saved me, but the thought of William’s punishments were enough to send me running home.
“May I accompany you?” He asked politely.
“Uh” I paused slightly, just on the verge of saying no. If William saw him walking me home, he would make the assumption that I was having an affair with this man, and he would scold and punish me, but on the other hand, this man had just saved my life, and it would seem awfully rude to just run away. I bit my lip softly, then looked up into his olive green eyes.
He smiled down at me. “It would only be to make sure no trouble be falls you”
I couldn’t help myself, and I beamed up at him. “That would be lovely”
He held a hand out for me to take, and I drew back.
“I’m sorry, it’s just that William wouldn’t like it if he found you walking with me” I paused to bite my lip. “So you see, it’s not that I am ungrateful, it’s just that I would be punished and…” I broke off, not wanting to continue.
“I understand. Who is this William anyway? You keep talking about him”
“William is my fia-” I was about to say fiancé, but something stopped me. I liked this man very much, and if I told him I was engaged, I had the feeling that I would never see him again. “He’s my brother” I lied.
“I had a brother once” He stopped, and looked away, probably remembering a long passed memory.
“If you don’t mind my asking, what happened?”
He looking down at his hands, and traced a line across his palm. “My brother left home when he was fourteen. He said he couldn’t wait around at home doing nothing. So he left. He never liked me much, but when he left it felt as if he had taken a piece of me away with him. That was the first time I picked up a violin…music seemed to fill the empty spaces in me, and so ever since that day I’ve played.” He smiled.
“Did he say where he was going?” I asked, looking up at him with wide eyes.
He shook his head. “No, but a month later a street merchant found his body in an ally” He paused. “My mother cried for months, and my father wouldn’t look at me. He said it was too painful to look at me, because I reminded him of my brother too much. But the funny thing is; I don’t remind myself of my brother at all.” He smiled. “But that’s the past. What is done, is done”
I shook my head, closing my eyes. “That’s horrible” I suddenly felt a twinge of regret rise up in my stomach. I felt bad for lying to him.
He shrugged. “Don’t be. I never liked my brother very much, and he never liked me very much.” He sighed deeply. “Some would say that we weren’t even related…my brother was…handsome, and proud, and brave, and always a good boy,” He paused, “and I was just the opposite: scrawny, introverted, timid, and constantly being scolded. And no matter how hard I tried to tell myself that it wasn’t my fault, I always knew that maybe if I had been more like him he wouldn’t’ have left…and I felt responsible for his death.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Well, that’s why I choose music, music seemed to take away the guilt, in fact, music seemed to take away everything: my family, my money, my friends, my home” He paused again. “What I mean by that is that when I started playing my family left me, and I lost all my money, and my friends abandoned me, and everything I used to have was suddenly gone”
“That’s horrible” I gasped.
He shrugged. “I certainly learned some lessons about what was really important to me.” Suddenly he laughed: “I’ve been renting from a man who helps out young musicians, but my rent’s due next week, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to pay it off”
“I can help you with that” I blurted out before even thinking. It was true I belonged to a rich family, but that didn’t mean I had to go around shouting about it.
“You don’t’ have to do that”
“Yes I do” I paused: I had already told him I would help him out, and it seemed selfish to take the offer back. “You saved my life, the least I can do is pay off you’re rent”
He shook his head. “Come off it”
“No” I held out a hand and stopped him. “There’s no question about it: I’m paying for your rent”
He broke into a wide, crooked smile. “Really?”
“Really” I wrapped my hand in his, and he laced our fingers together.
He smiled down at me. “Thank you”
“It’s the least I can do” I smiled back. I felt my heart rising up into my throat, and beating a thousand miles per minute.
We were both silent for a couple minutes…
“So” I paused, trying to fill the silence, “Tell me more about yourself”
“What do you want to know” He asked politely.
“Anything…just…tell me something”
He grinned boyishly, and began a long story about his childhood.
And I knew it was wrong to have feelings for him, but I couldn’t help but grin as our hands tightened around each others.
It was him. I was sure it was him, it had to be him. I recognized his strong jaw, and silver strewn hair. However his face wasn’t’ screwed up in concentration, and had rounded out into a look of concern.
“Thank you” I breathed again. It had been a shock when the man had held a knife to my throat, but seeing the violinist’s face again had been an even bigger shock.
“Please” He held up a hand to silence me. “Don’t thank me, any man would have done the same thing, were he in my position”
I smiled at him. “Well, I should be going: William will expect me” I felt guilty that I was leaving after he had just saved me, but the thought of William’s punishments were enough to send me running home.
“May I accompany you?” He asked politely.
“Uh” I paused slightly, just on the verge of saying no. If William saw him walking me home, he would make the assumption that I was having an affair with this man, and he would scold and punish me, but on the other hand, this man had just saved my life, and it would seem awfully rude to just run away. I bit my lip softly, then looked up into his olive green eyes.
He smiled down at me. “It would only be to make sure no trouble be falls you”
I couldn’t help myself, and I beamed up at him. “That would be lovely”
He held a hand out for me to take, and I drew back.
“I’m sorry, it’s just that William wouldn’t like it if he found you walking with me” I paused to bite my lip. “So you see, it’s not that I am ungrateful, it’s just that I would be punished and…” I broke off, not wanting to continue.
“I understand. Who is this William anyway? You keep talking about him”
“William is my fia-” I was about to say fiancé, but something stopped me. I liked this man very much, and if I told him I was engaged, I had the feeling that I would never see him again. “He’s my brother” I lied.
“I had a brother once” He stopped, and looked away, probably remembering a long passed memory.
“If you don’t mind my asking, what happened?”
He looking down at his hands, and traced a line across his palm. “My brother left home when he was fourteen. He said he couldn’t wait around at home doing nothing. So he left. He never liked me much, but when he left it felt as if he had taken a piece of me away with him. That was the first time I picked up a violin…music seemed to fill the empty spaces in me, and so ever since that day I’ve played.” He smiled.
“Did he say where he was going?” I asked, looking up at him with wide eyes.
He shook his head. “No, but a month later a street merchant found his body in an ally” He paused. “My mother cried for months, and my father wouldn’t look at me. He said it was too painful to look at me, because I reminded him of my brother too much. But the funny thing is; I don’t remind myself of my brother at all.” He smiled. “But that’s the past. What is done, is done”
I shook my head, closing my eyes. “That’s horrible” I suddenly felt a twinge of regret rise up in my stomach. I felt bad for lying to him.
He shrugged. “Don’t be. I never liked my brother very much, and he never liked me very much.” He sighed deeply. “Some would say that we weren’t even related…my brother was…handsome, and proud, and brave, and always a good boy,” He paused, “and I was just the opposite: scrawny, introverted, timid, and constantly being scolded. And no matter how hard I tried to tell myself that it wasn’t my fault, I always knew that maybe if I had been more like him he wouldn’t’ have left…and I felt responsible for his death.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Well, that’s why I choose music, music seemed to take away the guilt, in fact, music seemed to take away everything: my family, my money, my friends, my home” He paused again. “What I mean by that is that when I started playing my family left me, and I lost all my money, and my friends abandoned me, and everything I used to have was suddenly gone”
“That’s horrible” I gasped.
He shrugged. “I certainly learned some lessons about what was really important to me.” Suddenly he laughed: “I’ve been renting from a man who helps out young musicians, but my rent’s due next week, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to pay it off”
“I can help you with that” I blurted out before even thinking. It was true I belonged to a rich family, but that didn’t mean I had to go around shouting about it.
“You don’t’ have to do that”
“Yes I do” I paused: I had already told him I would help him out, and it seemed selfish to take the offer back. “You saved my life, the least I can do is pay off you’re rent”
He shook his head. “Come off it”
“No” I held out a hand and stopped him. “There’s no question about it: I’m paying for your rent”
He broke into a wide, crooked smile. “Really?”
“Really” I wrapped my hand in his, and he laced our fingers together.
He smiled down at me. “Thank you”
“It’s the least I can do” I smiled back. I felt my heart rising up into my throat, and beating a thousand miles per minute.
We were both silent for a couple minutes…
“So” I paused, trying to fill the silence, “Tell me more about yourself”
“What do you want to know” He asked politely.
“Anything…just…tell me something”
He grinned boyishly, and began a long story about his childhood.
And I knew it was wrong to have feelings for him, but I couldn’t help but grin as our hands tightened around each others.
Monday, February 26, 2007
story (rough draft)
Odessa
He was tall and stringy, with rather dainty hands. He had a strong jaw, set in a frown, and beads of sweat dripped down his young face. His ruby red, silk shirt was in good condition, but obviously second hand. He gave a good impression of a man from a rich family, but any well informed maiden could spot the disguise. His light, neatly trimmed hair was strewn with silver, and his formidable olive green eyes were lined in concentration. He was playing a very elaborately painted violin. Silver and gold leaves danced around the old, wooden body, looping joyfully under the strings like silver water drifting under a bridge. The strings were small, and fragile looking, but even as delicate as they looked, they were emitting the sweetest sound I had ever heard.
I looked around un-comfortably in my over-sized, over-weight dress, looking to see if anyone else was feeling un-comfortable. All eyes were focused on the young man’s face. Young ladies were fanning themselves with their lacy fans, and men held their hands clasped in their laps, but their eyes never left his furrowed brow.
“Darling, pay attention. It is not becoming of a woman to stare at others” A soft, hot hand was laid on my shoulder.
I turned to look into the face of my fiancé. He was young, and proper, and everything a woman should wish for in a man, but still, I had my reasons why not to marry him. I nodded, and started fanning myself, with the formerly idol, white, lace fan in my white gloved hand.
I felt puffy, and much too dressed up. I imagined myself to be a giant, multi-layered cake, topped with icing, and sugar. Dressed to the nines, I felt ridiculous, sitting here, and sweating while William told me I was un-proper. William had dragged me to the concert, telling me the whole time that women should be interested in music, and how I was exactly the opposite of what a proper young lady should be.
The last sweet noise of music faded, and applause lit the audience.
The young man seemed pleased, and he lowered his violin to his side, then took a deep bow. “Thank you all for coming” He said in a rich, deep voice. He looked tired, but his voice rang with energy.
“That was splendid” William said softly, standing up. He reached out a hand to pull me up from my seat.
I took it happily. I was eager to get out of the concert hall, and get outside where the cold air could cool my brow. “Yes it was” I paused. “Do you suppose we will ever see the young man again?” I asked, thinking f his charming violin playing.
“Hush darling. It is improper for a woman to speak when not spoken to” William scolded.
I turned away, and pursed my lips. It was always un-becoming of a woman to do anything. How could William just expect me to stand by his side: a useless lump of flesh and blood?
William held out his hand gently, and I placed my own, lacy-gloved hand on top of his, and together we walked out of the hall.
“Good day Mr. Smith” the door man said politly, tipping his hat at us as we walked by.
William smiled. “You see my pet? This is what good money gets you: fine theater seats, and polite ‘hellos’”
I just nodded, biting my overly red lips. I didn’t want to be scolded by him again. Not in front of a door man.
William stepped up into the carriage, and pulled me up along side him. He instructed the carriage driver where to go, and then turned to me, with one of his gentleman’s smiles. “What a lovely show. Did you enjoy it love?”
I nodded my head politely. “It was lovely” I agreed. I turned away from him and frowned. I hated being with him. If my family wasn’t so rich, I wouldn’t have been set up to marry him. I wished that I could have the freedom to chose who I loved, but ladies weren’t allowed to fall in love with just anyone. Ladies were only allowed to love who their parents told them to love. It was so unfair, and I hated the injustice of it.
Charles
I reached out softly to polish the wood of my violin. It was such a delicate little thing, and I feared that one day it would just snap under my fingers.
“Good show lad” The theater owner said merrily, clapping my shoulder. “Made quiet a bit of money” He smiled greedily, showing me a large wad of cash. “And your paying” He said, the smile wiped off his face. He counted out the money quickly, careful not to give me so much as a penny more than he had to.
“Thank you Mr. Benson” I said, stuffing the money down in my pockets. I put the violin back in it’s case carefully, and looked up into the oval mirror placed right at eye level. The theater was generally used for ballet’s, and other theater productions, so the dressing rooms were large, with mirrors lining about every wall.
I pushed my brown-gray hair out of my eyes. I’m not sure why my hair is grey, my friends joked that it’s because I act like a fifty year old, but it’s only a joke.
I straightened my second hand jacket, and stood up, picking the violin case up off the ground. “Thank you for letting me perform” I said formally, shaking Mr. Benson’s hand.
I left the theater and made my way up to a bar to celebrate my success. This had been an excellent day. I figured that buying a drink wouldn’t hurt.
The sun had set, and I was still at the bar. I was talking to one of my good friends, and we were in a heated conversation about politics, when I heard a loud scream. I sat up straight, ridged in my chair. I got up to go see what was happening.
As I exited the bar, I saw a beautiful woman pressed up against a wall. A grubby looking drunk held a rusty knife to her throat.
She looked panicked, but even in her horrified state, her beauty was amazing. Her white skin looked so soft, and delicate, that I wanted to reach out to touch her shoulder, to see if it was really soft. Her rosy pink lips were set in a whimper. Her honey-gold eyes were wide in fear, and her wheat blond curls were slowly coming un-done. “Help” She breathed.
I stepped behind the man holding the knife and pressed my cold metal violin stick against his neck. I supposed that it might feel like a knife, so it was worth a shot.
The man made a surprised sound.
“Go” I said in the most threatening voice I could use.
He scurried off without looking back.
“Thank you for saving me” The woman said, stroking her neck, with long pale hands. “I owe you my life”
“That’s ridiculous” I said, waving her comment away with a gensture. “What’s your name?” I asked.
She smiled with her pearly white teeth. “Odessa” Her voice was honey sweet. “And you are?”
“Charles” I answered quickly. “It’s nice to meet you Odessa.” And at that precise moment I knew that I was falling deeply in love.
He was tall and stringy, with rather dainty hands. He had a strong jaw, set in a frown, and beads of sweat dripped down his young face. His ruby red, silk shirt was in good condition, but obviously second hand. He gave a good impression of a man from a rich family, but any well informed maiden could spot the disguise. His light, neatly trimmed hair was strewn with silver, and his formidable olive green eyes were lined in concentration. He was playing a very elaborately painted violin. Silver and gold leaves danced around the old, wooden body, looping joyfully under the strings like silver water drifting under a bridge. The strings were small, and fragile looking, but even as delicate as they looked, they were emitting the sweetest sound I had ever heard.
I looked around un-comfortably in my over-sized, over-weight dress, looking to see if anyone else was feeling un-comfortable. All eyes were focused on the young man’s face. Young ladies were fanning themselves with their lacy fans, and men held their hands clasped in their laps, but their eyes never left his furrowed brow.
“Darling, pay attention. It is not becoming of a woman to stare at others” A soft, hot hand was laid on my shoulder.
I turned to look into the face of my fiancé. He was young, and proper, and everything a woman should wish for in a man, but still, I had my reasons why not to marry him. I nodded, and started fanning myself, with the formerly idol, white, lace fan in my white gloved hand.
I felt puffy, and much too dressed up. I imagined myself to be a giant, multi-layered cake, topped with icing, and sugar. Dressed to the nines, I felt ridiculous, sitting here, and sweating while William told me I was un-proper. William had dragged me to the concert, telling me the whole time that women should be interested in music, and how I was exactly the opposite of what a proper young lady should be.
The last sweet noise of music faded, and applause lit the audience.
The young man seemed pleased, and he lowered his violin to his side, then took a deep bow. “Thank you all for coming” He said in a rich, deep voice. He looked tired, but his voice rang with energy.
“That was splendid” William said softly, standing up. He reached out a hand to pull me up from my seat.
I took it happily. I was eager to get out of the concert hall, and get outside where the cold air could cool my brow. “Yes it was” I paused. “Do you suppose we will ever see the young man again?” I asked, thinking f his charming violin playing.
“Hush darling. It is improper for a woman to speak when not spoken to” William scolded.
I turned away, and pursed my lips. It was always un-becoming of a woman to do anything. How could William just expect me to stand by his side: a useless lump of flesh and blood?
William held out his hand gently, and I placed my own, lacy-gloved hand on top of his, and together we walked out of the hall.
“Good day Mr. Smith” the door man said politly, tipping his hat at us as we walked by.
William smiled. “You see my pet? This is what good money gets you: fine theater seats, and polite ‘hellos’”
I just nodded, biting my overly red lips. I didn’t want to be scolded by him again. Not in front of a door man.
William stepped up into the carriage, and pulled me up along side him. He instructed the carriage driver where to go, and then turned to me, with one of his gentleman’s smiles. “What a lovely show. Did you enjoy it love?”
I nodded my head politely. “It was lovely” I agreed. I turned away from him and frowned. I hated being with him. If my family wasn’t so rich, I wouldn’t have been set up to marry him. I wished that I could have the freedom to chose who I loved, but ladies weren’t allowed to fall in love with just anyone. Ladies were only allowed to love who their parents told them to love. It was so unfair, and I hated the injustice of it.
Charles
I reached out softly to polish the wood of my violin. It was such a delicate little thing, and I feared that one day it would just snap under my fingers.
“Good show lad” The theater owner said merrily, clapping my shoulder. “Made quiet a bit of money” He smiled greedily, showing me a large wad of cash. “And your paying” He said, the smile wiped off his face. He counted out the money quickly, careful not to give me so much as a penny more than he had to.
“Thank you Mr. Benson” I said, stuffing the money down in my pockets. I put the violin back in it’s case carefully, and looked up into the oval mirror placed right at eye level. The theater was generally used for ballet’s, and other theater productions, so the dressing rooms were large, with mirrors lining about every wall.
I pushed my brown-gray hair out of my eyes. I’m not sure why my hair is grey, my friends joked that it’s because I act like a fifty year old, but it’s only a joke.
I straightened my second hand jacket, and stood up, picking the violin case up off the ground. “Thank you for letting me perform” I said formally, shaking Mr. Benson’s hand.
I left the theater and made my way up to a bar to celebrate my success. This had been an excellent day. I figured that buying a drink wouldn’t hurt.
The sun had set, and I was still at the bar. I was talking to one of my good friends, and we were in a heated conversation about politics, when I heard a loud scream. I sat up straight, ridged in my chair. I got up to go see what was happening.
As I exited the bar, I saw a beautiful woman pressed up against a wall. A grubby looking drunk held a rusty knife to her throat.
She looked panicked, but even in her horrified state, her beauty was amazing. Her white skin looked so soft, and delicate, that I wanted to reach out to touch her shoulder, to see if it was really soft. Her rosy pink lips were set in a whimper. Her honey-gold eyes were wide in fear, and her wheat blond curls were slowly coming un-done. “Help” She breathed.
I stepped behind the man holding the knife and pressed my cold metal violin stick against his neck. I supposed that it might feel like a knife, so it was worth a shot.
The man made a surprised sound.
“Go” I said in the most threatening voice I could use.
He scurried off without looking back.
“Thank you for saving me” The woman said, stroking her neck, with long pale hands. “I owe you my life”
“That’s ridiculous” I said, waving her comment away with a gensture. “What’s your name?” I asked.
She smiled with her pearly white teeth. “Odessa” Her voice was honey sweet. “And you are?”
“Charles” I answered quickly. “It’s nice to meet you Odessa.” And at that precise moment I knew that I was falling deeply in love.
Monday, February 12, 2007
PLOT
EXPOSITION
-Charels is playing at a fancy recital, but he still isn't famous, and he is trying hard to be a good musician. He is a really good violin player, and the audiance seems captovated, but no one really appreciats him. After the recital he meets Odessa: a beautiful, adventurous woman, who belongs to a very high class family. And although her life is meant to be lived out in the company of rich, proper, and arogant people, she dreams of something else. Her sense of humor, and adventor captivates Charels
RISING ACTION:
-Odessa and Charels un-wittingly fall in love, and Charles is offered the chance of a life-time: he is given the opportunity to be a famous musician.
CLIMAX:
-When he tells his manager that he is going to propose to Odessa his manager (ok, so they didn't have managers back then, but bare wiht me) tells him that he either becoms a musician or he marries Odessa. He learns that Odessa is engaged to a man named William, and that wieghts heavily on his decicion of whether to marry Odessa or become the famous violinest he's always wanted to be. At the end of the CLIMAX Charles finally makes his decision. (He's in his debeaut and in the middle he realizes he made the wrong decision)
FALLING ACTION:
-He finds Odessa, and he proposes to her, claiming that he can't live without her, and if she hates him then he's fine with being alone, but he couldn't live with himself knowing he never went after her. She says she loves him, and she will happily marry him.
RESOLUTION:
-William decides he doesn't want to marry Odessa, so Charels and Odessa get married, and live together happily ever after. And Charels realizes that there's more to life than just being famous.
INTERNAL:
-He loves Odessa, but he also loves music, and he has to choose between the two.
EXTERNAL
-What he does will greatly affect how people view him, and he will have to choose between living a life of fame, and glory, or living a regular peasant life.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Classical Composers
The classical period in Western music occured in 1730 and lasted till 1820. Some of the best known composers of the time were Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Joseoh Haydn, and Ludwig Van Beethoven. There are other well known composers, but these were the most famous of their time.
Classical Music
Classical music is a somewhat vauge subject. No one is quite sure who started classical music, or the first classical song ever written. The term 'Classical Music' wasn't even introduced unti the early 19th century in an attempt to glorify the period in music, parallel to the 'golden age' if scultures, architecture and art in general. The earliest reference to classical music recorded in teh Ox Ford dictionary is from 1836 since then, the term hascome to mean the opposite of 'popular music'.
neoclassicism
Neoclassicism is a name, given to very distinct art, literature, theater, music, and architecture. These different sub-topics were greatly effected and changed throughout the 18th and 20th century. Neoclassicism in the arrt of an ideal, which means that it was concidered 'perfect art'.
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